This week’s stop on Ali’s journey around the world to find real life love is Lisbon, Portugal. The five remaining guys walk up to Chris Harrison in a town square – Frank in a t-shirt with a very large anchor on it, Chris L. in one of his many Element t-shirts, and Ty in a v-neck again to show off one of his many sweet necklaces. Our Host explains there are 4 dates this week; the guys quickly do some math to conclude that there must be a 2 on 1 date this week. Chris confirms they are correct but explains no roses will be handed out until the rose ceremony and reminds them if they do get a rose this week that means they get a hometown date next.They head to their hotel and read the first date card which goes to…Rrroberto!
One on One Date: Rrroberto
“Come be the King of my Castle”
Ali has chosen to wear a very mini sequined skirt for her outing in Portugal with Rrroberto. Of course. This season of The Bachelorette must have Canon as a sponsor because yet again we have a date that consists of taking pictures. Ali and Rrroberto jump off benches and take pictures of each other. Then they stop in the middle of the street and start making out while the people of Portugal shake their heads. Ali tells us, “Life may not be a fairy tale but I’m starting to think love can be.” The people at the watching party shake their heads.
Ali takes Rrrroberto to “her” castle next. They sit on the steps and talk about how much they like each other. The consensus at the watching party is that she is still intimidated by Rrroberto’s hotness. She asks questions about his family since she’s planning on meeting them next week. He says his mom will cook Spanish food. She says she needs to learn how to cook food. I tell her to read the Pioneer Woman. The date concludes with the happy attractive couple looking over the sunset from their castle.
Two on One Date: Frank and Ty
“Let’s Find our Future in the Past (at a castle of course)”
Ali stands in an open field and explains the 2 on 1 date could potentially be awkward at this point. Potentially must mean definitely in her mind. Frank and Ty walk up to her and – wait, what’s that on the back of Ty’s shirt?!? The watching party gasps in horror at the black button down that Ty has chosen to wear when some sort of large screen-printed design is revealed on the back. The Affliction clothing worn by UFC fighters came to mind...Ed Hardy also came to mind. Neither one are good things to have in your mind.
Frank, Ty, and Ali hop in a helicopter and head to yet another castle in Portugal. Emily at the watch party notes that Ali seems to have completely conquered her fear of flying. So now ABC can add “overcome phobias” to the long list of benefits that being on this reality TV dating competition show provides.
Once at the castle they walk around and Ty spots a deer. Since Frank is closest to him he grabs his arm to stop and look at the deer and then Ali comes back to see what the two are looking at. Not uncomfortable at all. Three’s Company then sit down for dinner and awkward silence takes over. Ty even labels it as “wow…tension.” They struggle through dinner and then Ali takes Ty away for some one-on-one time.
She asks for further clarification on his traditional views and what his family will think of her having her own career. Ty responds with, “It tickles me that you have a plan and ambition and know what you want.” Ali isn’t pleased that the fact that she wants to have a job “tickles him.” The watching party isn’t pleased with the very large almost choker style necklace Ty insists on wearing.
Frank gets some one-on-one time next and as they sit in a tree she asks him questions about his family. He takes this opportunity to tell her that he’s really close with his family…not just emotionally but literally very close because he actually lives with his parents. He quickly reminds her that he was adventurous and spontaneous when he quit his job to move to Paris for 6 months. While that was a romantic idea it maybe wasn’t the most practical seeing as he now has to live with his parents and work at Banana Republic to make some money. He didn’t tell her this prior to tonight because he didn’t want her to “pre-judge” him. She is totally okay with the fact that he’s living with his parents and then starts either playing with the buttons on his shirt or actually unbuttoning them. I had to look away. When I looked back the camera had zoomed in on Frank and Ali holding hands so we got a nice shot of his sweet thumb ring for the fade to commercial.
One-on-One Date: Kirk
“Once Upon a Time”
We see Ali waiting in another town square for Kirk. Amy P. accurately describes Ali’s outfit by exclaiming, “Whoa – that shirt has a necklace built in!” Kirk and Ali sit at an outdoor table drinking beer and discussing what Kirk’s family will be like if Ali meets them. Ali is visibly distracted which Kirk thinks is because she has such an important decision to make this year. The watching party thinks it’s because she’s hungover.
A horse drawn carriage then pulls up by their table and Ali tells Kirk their ride has arrived. They hop in the buggy and swap their beer for wine. Their final destination is yet another castle for dinner. Ali emerges from the castle wearing a sequined strapless dress with a white blazer. Comments start flying from the watch party:
Aimee: “Whoa – Dr. Quinn!”
Emily: “This is Portugal not Miami Vice”
Amy P: “Don Johnson wants his jacket back”
Needless to say the white blazer was a very questionable choice…although you know Jonathan the jacket-loving Weatherman would have been all over that. During dinner Ali’s insecurities surface again; she tells Kirk, “I struggle…” and Amy P finishes her sentence with “…drinking.” Which actually would have been a very appropriate sentence.
But Ali instead shares about her struggle to believe that she’s enough. Thankfully Kirk channels his inner Chris Harrison counselor skills and tells her that he knows who he is, knows he’s deserving of love and is confident that she is as well. Ali’s fears disappear and they head downstairs to hear Sophia Loren serenade them while they make out.
One on One Date: Chris L.
“Love Gets Better with Age”
For her final date of the week the watching party is hoping that Ali will get to see some other part of Portugal that does not involve a castle. Ali is excited about this date with Chris but also has high expectations for him to open up because she feels like their relationship has progressed slower than the other ones in the 6 weeks she has been dating all these boys. She’s worried Chris is getting stuck in the friend zone.
Ali walks over to a moped scooter parked on the side of the street and explains to Chris L. that this is their ride for their date. Chris gets visibly nervous and tells the camera, “I’ve never driven one of these things - I can’t be the dude that kills the bachelorette- that’s not gonna look good at all.”
They fasten their helmets and are off…well, slowly off anyway. Chris L. drives very slow along the streets and gets passed by many cars as they poke along. Ali laughs at his caution and CC notes that the scene looks very familiar to this one:
They finally pull over near the top of a hill to switch places so Ali can drive. She peels out as Chris hangs on for dear life. Eventually they end up at a winery (points to CC for calling it based on the date description card). Unfortunately the motorcycle helmet did something to Chris L.’s hair so he’s got a little bed head look going on. Ali asks more questions about his family and then suggests they get a bottle of wine for his dad. I’m thinking Chris L. is getting a rose…Chris tells Ali that he has a gift for her; he’s actually had it since the beginning but since it’s a sentimental gift he wanted to make sure he actually liked her before just handing it to her upon meeting. He pulls a cloth jewelry case out of his pocket and tells her his dad’s friend makes bracelets and actually had made one for his mom as well which is why it’s meaningful to him. He presents her with what he calls a “Dennis Bracelet” and then struggles to put it on her wrist because he’s clearly nervous. So cute. Ali loves the gift and loves that he waited to give it to her. Major points.
They walk outside and then the next shot of them is with their legs intertwined while lying in the grass. Chris has definitely moved out of the friend zone.
The Fastest Rose Ceremony Ever
I hope that ABC realizes 1.5 hours is plenty of time for an episode because I loved cutting to the chase at the end of this one. No cocktail party again, no deliberation room – straight to the roses. Our Host Chris Harrison must be trying to embrace culture or something because in a rare bad fashion choice he’s wearing a tie with what appears to be purple hydrangeas on it.
Ali emerges wearing a horizontal stripe dress and tells the guys how hard the choice is for her… yada yada yada…how great they all are…yada yada yada…it’s not you it’s me…yada yada yada. Roses eventually go to:
Chris L.: He’s into dressing down for rose ceremonies – wearing jeans again
Frank: Hope Ali’s ready to live with his parents
Rrrroberto: Of course
Kirk: The speech must have sealed the deal
Ty “takes a moment and says his goodbyes” (as Chris Harrison always says). It’s actually sad to see him say good-bye to the other guys because you get a sense that all 5 were actually friends. They hug and wish him the best and then Ali walks him out. For dramatic effect ABC makes Ty and Ali stand in the rain as Ali makes the pouty face that Aimee finds unbecoming. Ali explains that she couldn’t see it working in the long term. Ty is disappointed but maintains his composure as he hands Ali a card. We don’t get to know what the card said but I’m sure it was some sort of song he wrote for her. Of course.
Scenes for next week show hometown dates – Kirk’s dad is the taxidermist, Rrroberto is wearing his baseball uniform, Chris L.’s dad looks as sweet as Chris L., and Frank the Tank is hugging another girl!? Oh the drama! And let it be known that if Ali doesn't get her roots fixed soon, Emily at the watching party may fly to LA and fix them herself...
Be sure to check out Chris Harrison’s blog and ihategreenbeans.com for more recap fun! And yes, I did make it through the Jake and Vienna break-up special although it was as painful as I expected. Very minor recap coming up on that shortly…
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