Ali casually walks through the streets of Istanbul and tells us she’s excited about the 7 boyfriends she’s narrowed it down to. She honestly thinks that nothing could go wrong – and to be fair she has a point, I mean she’s traveling around the world on ABC’s dime with 7 men chasing after her. However, as we know from Reality TV Foreshadowing 101 as soon as someone says nothing can go wrong something inevitably does go wrong.Cue a knock of doom on Ali’s door which she opens to reveal our host Chris Harrison looking sharp in a magenta shirt and corduroy jacket. He tells Ali he has some news for her, but doesn’t want to tell her himself. Instead, he wants her “friend” Jessie from last season to drop the bombshell on her.
They walk over to a phone that I’m pretty sure we had in my house in the 1985 and dials Jessie’s number. After many rings Jessie finally picks up and we see that Jessie is in her tube top ready for a night on the town in Toronto. Or ready to be on national TV again. Jessie and Ali small talk for a while and then Jessie cuts to the chase:
Jessie: I know someone is not there for the right reasons. Somebody has a girlfriend back home and…it’s Justin.
Ali: (crazy angry eyes) What!?
Jessie: Yep, he has a girlfriend – we were just about to go clubbin’ together which is why I’m really dressed up and so she’s right here next to me.
Jessie hands the phone to Justin’s girlfriend Jessica who starts crying on cue.
Jessica: Justin and I have been dating 2 years, he told me he was going on this show to help his awesome entertainment wrestling career which I didn’t agree with because I thought his career was doing just fine – I mean he’s Rated-R, who hasn’t heard of him before, right!? Anyway, a few days after he left I found out he has another girlfriend here in Canada.
Ali: OMG – is it Jillian?
Jessica: No, Jillian is somehow still happy with Ed and his short shorts
Ali hangs up the phone and sits back down on the couch with Chris Harrison. Chris conveniently has Justin’s iphone which has a picture of Justin with his arms around Jessica in the pool. He assures Ali that he knew nothing about this prior to the previous night when Jessie contacted them to get on TV again (nevermind what the casting department knew). Ali tells Chris she wants Justin gone immediately.
They head to the guys’ suite so that Ali can confront Rated-R. Before entering Chris tells Ali to take a deep breath. Tension is high; the watching party takes a deep breath as well. Ty opens the door and gives Ali a hug. The guys know something is up because Ali and Chris are not to be in the room together outside of deliberation rooms and rose ceremonies. Chris calls all the guys to the living room and Ali begins…”I know it’s been a hard road for everyone to get here…it must have been especially hard for you Justin, you know because you have a girlfriend back home in Canada.” Zing!!
Rated-R Justin calmly looks back at Ali and then gets up and starts getting a bag together. He reenters the room and heads for the door. Ali says, “That’s it – this is how you’re going to go out, you’re not even going to talk to me about it?!” Rated-R tells her he’s got his passport and his wallet and that’s all he needs. Farrell at the watch party thinks he’s going to regret leaving his True Religion jeans.
Rated-R heads for the stairs with the cameras following. Ali takes the stairs after him while still questioning why he’s running instead of explaining himself. Justin tries to get back in the hotel but is thwarted by a waiter who holds the door shut. The watching party laughs. He has to confront Ali as she standing in his way. She puts her hand on his chest and asks him to talk to her. He replies with, “Don’t touch me – I’ll be glad to talk to you without the cameras.”
Then he walks around her and starts a very bazaar exit route by walking over fountains, through plants and flowers, and on walls to get away from Ali and the cameras. Unfortunately for him it’s all captured on camera.
Ali and Chris Harrison are sitting on a ledge talking when Justin starts walking back toward him. I’m thinking he either came to his senses and realized he wanted his True Religion jeans back or was forced to come back because of contractual obligations.Chris Harrison leaves and there is awkward silence. Ali asks him if Jessica is lying. He says some words that don’t make a complete sentence…something about how Jessica wasn’t his girlfriend before but through this process he realized he wasn’t into Ali and was into Jessica. The watching party laughs at his attempt to somehow spin this. Ali reminds Justin that she just left crazy tattooed Kasey literally standing in the cold because she chose him instead. Justin tells her he ironically has that rose in his pocket if she wants it back. Ali tells him it’s too late – they’re in Turkey now, no way she’s going back to that freezing glacier to get Kasey. Then she reminds us again that she gave up everything to go on this journey of love.
As Justin walks out of the hotel his voicemail messages that he left for Jessica are played for us (with subtitles of course). He left several messages declaring his undying love and reminding her that though he’s away on a reality TV dating show she’s the one he wants to marry. How sweet.
And with that The Bachelorette season 6 episode 6 controversy ended. The watching party concluded that the whole thing was so fake that it was real. I mean if ABC set it up we think they could have done a much more realistic job than what was shown. Jessie sitting with the girlfriend? The girlfriend who learns about another girlfriend? The chase scene through the hotel? Yes, it all seemed so staged and scripted that we believe it was actually real. “Too fake is the new real” was the phrase that was coined to sum up the whole Rated-R situation.
With so much excitement during the first 20 minutes of the show you knew we were in for a long remaining hour and forty minutes…
Ty: One-on-One Date
“Let’s Get Steamy”
Ty was lucky enough to receive the one-on-one date after all the morning drama. Ali waited for him near a fountain while wearing her DJ Tanner inspired vest. They went sight seeing around the city and then ended up in some sort of Turkish bath/spa house thing. They emerged wearing some plaid cloth and wooden shoes. Then it got steamy for sure – there was lots of touching. Ali commented on the steaminess saying, “It’s getting hot in here.” Thankfully Ty didn’t sing the rest of the Nelly song…
After the bathhouse they went to dinner near a river. Ty tells Ali what he likes about her and then asks that she return the favor by sharing what she likes about him. Aimee at the watching party answers for her, “…not that necklace.” Well said.
Ali asks for more details on his divorce. He says family is important to him and he wasn’t used to his wife working. At least I think that’s what he said – I couldn’t really follow what it was about his wife that made him decide it wasn’t a good fit. Ali became visibly worried that Ty was saying he expected her to be the traditional stay-at-home mom because as she said, “Traditional is the last word I would use to describe myself.” Somehow Ty turns it around to say he learned that ambition is a good thing for women to have and she gives him the rose but not without saying she has some fears about him.
They get up from dinner and dance to a conveniently placed Turkish band. Ty says it is the most romantic dance of his life. Nevermind the first dance at his wedding reception…
Group Date
“Love Conquers Olive”
Kirk, Rrrroberto, Chris, and Craig head out for the group date meaning that Frank the Tank is the is the first to go on multiple one-on-one dates while Craig has yet to go on one. Things are not looking well for Craig. The guys meet Ali in some sort of Turkish castle and she tells them they’ll be participating in many Turkish traditions today. They’ll also have the opportunity to fight it out for some alone time with Ali.
Four Turkish men covered in olive oil and wearing black leather capri pants then emerge which I thought meant Festivus was beginning on the group date and we were about to witness the Feats of Strength competition. I was slightly confused because the airing of grievances is usually first in Festivus…although I guess Ali did air some grievances with Justin to start the episode so maybe the Festivus pole is coming out at the end.
The four Turkish men easily pin each of the guys and Chris summed it up best saying, “This is not fun.” Ali announces the Feats of Strength contest isn’t ending there. Next the guys will wrestle each other to determine who gets to spend the rest of the date alone with Ali. Chris wrestles Craig first and to everyone’s surprise Craig is able to somehow beat the much larger Chris. Then Rrrroberto wrestles Kirk and after 2 seconds Rrrroberto wins. So for the final its Rrrroberto in one corner and Craig in the other. Odds are on former baseball player Rrroberto but that doesn’t phase underdog Craig. After many awkward positions and a lot of slippling and sliding Craig emerges the shocking winner. Ali looks mildly amused and presents him with a mini black leather pants trophy.
The rest of the guys go back to the hotel and analyze how the lawyer was able to beat them all while Ali and Craig go for a boat ride. Craig tells Ali he’s never met anyone like her. To which a viewer at a remote watching party (who shall remain nameless for now) texted me with, “He’s never met anyone like Ali? He’s never met a blonde bimbo with a flair for dramatics?”
Craig and Ali then watch fireworks from the boat but everyone except Craig can see there aren’t any fireworks between them so it’s concluded things are still not looking well for Craig.
Frank: One-on-One Date
“The Road to Love is Bazaar”
Frank the Tank is pumped that he gets to go on a second one-on-one date with Ali because he feels like their initial connection from the Hollywood sign has faded. Ali and Frank head to the spice bazaar and look at all the different Turkish things they can buy. They stop at the aphrodisiacs table and Frank buys something in economy size. Then they stop at a Turkish clothing stall and of course Ali takes this opportunity to try on a belly dancing outfit while Frank tries on a Sultan hat.
Their last stop is at a rug and carpet shop and Frank is determined not to buy a rug seeing as he would have to carry it around for the rest of the date and they are still traveling around the world on this journey of love. However the former used car salesman turned rug salesman wins him over and we see Frank and Ali leaving the shop with a rug over their shoulders.
They head down to a Turkish cistern that is pretty amazing. Ali points to a platform in the middle of some shallow water and tells Frank that’s where they’ll be eating. Frank is secretly worried about getting his new magic carpet wet but throws it over his shoulder and wades through the water with Ali. After dinner Frank tells Ali that she’s beautiful inside and out. Then there was some awkward silence followed by Frank telling Ali he is only going to propose once in his life so it makes him a little nervous that she’s currently dating 5 other guys. Ali and Frank agree that their chemistry scares each other. Then she gives him the rose and they make out.
The Most Predictable Rose Ceremony Ever
Ali looks over the pictures of the guys in the deliberation room when Chris Harrison walks in prepared for another counseling session. Ali tells him she doesn’t need counseling or a cocktail party – her mind’s made up this week, she already knows who she wants to send home and therefore wants to go straight to the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison stalls because they need some more footage for this boring episode so he asks her multiple times if she is sure she’s made up her mind. She continues to say she knows who is getting the boot this week.
Some viewers at the watching party thought the editing was trying to make it seem like Craig was not getting a rose so that she could then give him a rose in a dramatic twist but looking at the other 5 guys he was up against it was pretty clear the chemistry between Ali and Craig was the weakest.
Chris Harrison gathers the guys together and tells them Ali’s ready for the rose ceremony with no cocktail party. They guys follow Chris into the rose ceremony room and we see that Chris has chosen to wear Air Jordans with his suit this week. Interesting.
Ali enters and in a sappy voice explains that all relationships moved forward this week which made it clear which guy needed to go home. Farrell had some issue with her semantics seeing as if ALL relationships moved forward the choice wouldn’t be as clear since they would ALL be more progressed.
She hands roses out to:
Rrroberto: Of course
Chris: Just a minor strike for the shoes
Kirk: He’s gaining ground as a front runner
Which means that Craig is sent home…to no one’s surprise. Ali walks him out and tells him she felt the romance was missing between them. He stays classy and wishes her well and then once in the rejection minivan he tells us he’s shocked. I’m guessing if he’s watching this season now he’s likely not quite as shocked.
Ali tells the guys they’re off to Lisbon, Portugal next and then the scenes for the rest of the season are quite revealing. Ali gets to meet Frank’s family, Chris is strangely missing from most of the clips, someone’s dad is a taxidermist, and Frank delivers some sort of bad news that causes Ali to look like this:
There’s also a special next week on Jake & Vienna’s breakup that I’m not sure I can bring myself to watch…the 2 minute clip of her interview on Entertainment Tonight nearly did me in.Be sure to check out Chris Harrison’s blog and the hilarious ihategreenbeans.com, see you next week for a hopefully much more dramatic rose ceremony and more chase scenes!
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