Are We Really Watching This Again?

Put on your chucks and evening gowns friends because here we are – on the cusp of The Most Dramatic Season ever on The Bachelorette. Nevermind that it’s always the most dramatic season ever – if Chris Harrison says it’s The most dramatic then it’s The most dramatic. Ali Fedoqkscwutyorie (I think that’s how you spell her last name…) will be the “lucky lady” to receive the pursuit of 25 men hand selected by casting directors for ratings--- I mean for her potential husband.

For a little prep before the big premiere and so I don’t have to go through all this on the first night when they make their first impressions, let’s meet the bachelors! As I stated in my previous post ABC actually included a PDF cheat sheet of all the bachelors on their site which I think is a brilliant addition. Although it would have been better if they had done a little bio too like Lincee does – you know, “he’s the one who broke man code” (or something like that). The list below contains each bachelor’s name followed by their age, job, state of residence, and my personal favorite fact listed about them from the ABC website. So this is not the longest post ever I’ve grouped the photos together with descriptions below. For bigger pictures head over to this site

Chris H: 27, Real Estate Developer, Canada. Favorite book: “How to Win Friends and Influence People”…I think he misunderstood the question and instead answered which book he read to prepare for the battle to win Ali’s heart. I expect him to overly-flatter a lot of people.

Chris L.: 33, Landscaper, Massachusetts. Direct quote from the ABC website: “Tattoos? Let’s just say check out his heart.” This makes me very nervous that upon exiting the limo he’ll rip off his shirt to reveal a tattoo of Ali’s face on his chest.
Chris N.: 29, Entrepreneur, Florida. What he would bring to a desert island: “Mixed bag of fruit veggie seeds, water purifier, and his future wife.” Lame…

Craig M.: 33, Dental Sales, Canada. None of his facts on the ABC website are fun or interesting…also, please…someone – his hair?? It’s very poufy. I predict he goes home night one.

Craig R.: 27, Lawyer, Pennsylvania. He seems pretty normal – standard answers on his fun fact sheet…which means he’s probably going home early too.

Derek: 28, Sales Manager, California. His worst date memory: “He was going to a movie, and went to open a door and it hit him in the face -- splitting his eyebrow, causing him to bleed all over.” Oh Derek unfortunately I am very able to identify with that story. Very able. Also, does he look like someone famous to anyone else? Maybe this guy?


Derrick: 27, Construction Engineer, California. The most outrageous thing he's ever done: “Fashion show, Speedo, 150 people....five years ago” Oh for the love of all that is good please don’t make us see any Speedos this year ABC…please.

Frank: 31, Retail Manager, Illinois. The most outrageous thing he has done: “Quit his job, packed his bags and headed to Europe to make it up as he went along.” Very adventurous! However I’d like to know how he ended up in Illinois after Europe.

Hunter: 28, Internet Account Executive, Texas. His favorite book: “Sweetie, a book his grandfather wrote about how he met his wife and how they managed to keep their love strong while he was off to war” I predict Hunter stays around a while because 1) he’s from Texas and 2) he clearly watched last season because he knows that Ali likes answers that involve grandparents.

Jason: 27, Construction Consultant, Colorado. The most outrageous thing he has ever done: “Once he fell from a 60' waterfall when he was looking over the edge to find a place to jump from.” Am I the only one confused by this answer? So falling is more outrageous than jumping?

Jay: 29, Lawyer, Rhode Island. His favorite book: “He finds Donald Trumps' books interesting and inspirational” Lame! No way he’s making it past night one.

Jesse: 24, General Contractor, Missouri. What is his best date memory: “Having a food fight!” I see a group date food fight on the horizon…

John C.: 32, Hotel Business Development, Washington. Nothing jumps out on his fun fact sheet…sorry John C.

John N.: 27, Engineering Software Sales, Missouri. What is his best date memory: “A date that ended up lasting two days.” Clearly he has prepared for the marathon Bachelorette dates.

Jonathan: 30, Weatherman, Texas. A weatherman, for real!? I’m really hoping for some sort of weather related pun when he steps out of the limo to meet Ali. (i.e. You’ll have sunny days with me…no thunderstorms ahead.)

Justin: 26, ENTERTAINMENT WRESTLER, Canada. Three things he would bring on a desert island: “Spear Gun, a woman and hair gel.” I promise I didn’t make that answer up…spear gun, a woman and HAIR GEL. Oh Justin I don’t know where to begin with you so I’ll just state all words that repeatedly jumped out at me upon viewing your picture. Here’s a better look at it first:
Silver Chain! Hair Gel! Soul Patch! For the blog’s sake I hope you stay around a while…


Kasey: 27, Adverting Account Executive, California. What he considers his three best attributes: “Being romantic, generous and wholesome.” You don’t hear the word wholesome very much anymore…I think there’s a reason for that.

Kirk: 27, Sales Consultant, Wisconsin. Most outrageous thing he's ever done: “Flew to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway with someone he met for the first time a week prior.” Another one who has been in Bachelorette date training…

Kyle: 26, Outdoorsman, Colorado. What three items he would bring if he was stranded on a desert island: “Fishing pole, Icee Machine and his dog.” Better than the hair gel and “a woman” answer I’ll give him that, but I just don’t see Ali as the outdoorsy type. And what does an outdoorsman actually do anyway?

Phil: 30, Investment Manager, Illinois. What does he admire most: “His grandparents who are happy in love and life” Again another guy going after the grandparent connection...these guys definitely watched last season.

Roberto: 26, Insurance Agent, South Carolina. What is his worst date: “Double date in high school where his date cried because she spilled ketchup.” I think that’s hilarious and hope they bring back the high school date this season as a twist.

Steve: 28, Sales Representative, Ohio. Three things he would bring on a desert island: “Blackberry, iPod and his positive attitude.” Well I guess that makes sense because he’ll definitely need that positive attitude once the batteries die for the technology he’s brought to a deserted island.

Ty: 31, Medical Sales, Tennessee. What he considers his most embarrassing moment: “He mispronounced a word on stage in front of 2,500 people.” I hope he’s been practicing how to pronounce Ali’s last name.

Tyler M.: 25, Catering Manager, Texas. What is the most outrageous thing he's ever done: “Hitch-hiked in a Speedo” Again I say, Oh for the love of all that is good please don’t make us see any Speedos this year ABC…please.

Tyler V.: 25, Online Advertising, Connecticut. His favorite book: “I Hope they serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max” Based on this answer I’m guessing Tyler V. might not get along so well with wholesome Kasey. Maybe we’ll get an Angry Dave vs. Man-Code-Breaking Juan fight again this season!? One can hope.

So there’s the group for this most dramatic Bachelorette season ever. ABC also has a few video previews of the season which you can watch here. I think we’re in for a good one!